It is often an immense struggle to find ourselves beautiful in a world that tells us we’re everything but.
I rarely, if ever, saw my feminity as something cute or charming. It wasn’t until I met my first feminine boyfriend that things began to change.
I was able to find him attractive because I was head over heels for him. And being head over heels for him meant that I loved his femininity as much as every other part of him.
It suddenly hit me one day that all the things I loved about him were things I could love about myself, but had never thought to.
Meeting other feminine gay men and transgendered has allowed me to become the most fully realized version of myself – a person who wears their femininity with pride, a person who recognizes how strong they are for growing up in a “glass closet,” and a person who is open to new people and new experiences – not just those approved by a homonormative queer society.
Dropping “attraction” as an excuse to push feminine men away forced me to interact with not only new people, but also myself. I was challenged to see myself in people who acted like me, people who had faced many of the same unique challenges I had.
I was forced to think of people as people, instead of as caricatures.
When you do that, you find not only the humanity in others, but also the humanity in yourself.