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#Transgender: Types of #Men We Attract. #boipussy #sissy

      Today I’d like to talk about men, or at least the men that we t-ladies come across. Just like there tends to be two types of trans ladies, there tends to be two types of gentlemen we might attract: trans admirers and straight men. Lately, I’ve spent many more of my weekly girl-nights in gay and straight venues than ever before and confirmed a number of notions I’d previously sensed and even learned a few new ones. It’s been enlightening, and I’ll happily share what I’ve learned from my, and my friends’, and my patients’ experiences.

First and foremost, I’ve re-acquainted myself with that classic lesson from Out and About 101: gay clubs are the best, and gay men even better but not the least interested in us. What can make a gay club interesting for t-gal like me who’s in touch with the softer side of her sexuality, however, is the incidental appearance of one of the other two types of men: straight men and admirers—and it’s often very hard to tell the difference.

Of course, it’s a whole lot easier to find straight men at a straight club, but even there, there’s always that tense question of “Does he or doesn’t he know?” and what that says about me as a woman and him as a man. Ah, the difficulty of distinguishing the pass from the play-along, especially the well-oiled play-along of the experienced trans-fan. I have a hetero crossdresser friend who cheerfully skips right over it and always assumes she’s passing and that the men hitting on her are straight. Though it “works for she,” making this distinction and coming out—at the right place and time—might really start to matter if she ever hoped her flirtation might lead to something more.

Is there truly a difference between straight men and trans admirers, when most of them and many of us would deny it emphatically? Well, like the distinction between started-out-straight and started-out-gay MTFs, the distinction between straight men and admirers is one of those things that “seems to be” even if it doesn’t always “work for you and me.” So, you man hunters out there must by now be hungry to know why admirers are different, how to tell them apart from regular straight men, which kind to go for, and what you need to know if you do.

“But aren’t all admirers really gay?” the most naive among us ask. “Certainly not,” I say. The word gay, at least according to gay people, describes something very specific: men attracted men—in male form. It does not describe any man who does anything non-straight, no matter how much your angry ex-wife might say so.

The more informed among us know that admirers almost always come from the straight world, Studio City rather than West Hollywood as we might say around L.A. I must admit I had a ball the first night I spent at the Mangy Moose, a rockin’ dance joint for older singles in Studio City. I’ve never been so whirled and twirled in my entire life. But I wasn’t nearly so popular the next time and soon learned that I’d been read and word had spread. Where before I’d been courted by twenty, now there seemed to be none. But with a little patience and a comfortable bar stool, I was pleased to discover there was still somebody looking to get up my skirt. And after talking for a little while, I could tell he’d read me or been tipped off, when there were too many references to my height or the “great shape” I was in.

I recently compared notes over lunch with a beautiful, bright, little Filipino non-op TS, and what she’d gathered was so different, but really so much the same. “I get a lot of guys hitting on me,” she explained, “but when I tell them I’m T, they all back away, or at least 95%. I’d have to be post-op and stealthy to keep ’em interested.”

But if a man stays interested despite learning her secret or realizing mine, is he just common Joe tempted to walk on the wild side or a simple Simon smitten by the singular charms of one Alice Novic (or Teresa Teruel), whatever she may be? Whoever such men are, they seem to emerge mysteriously from the straight world, even for me still at forty-four years old, and I thank heavens for them. Who needs to think it through any further than that? No one! Okay, end of article . . .

Just kidding. I do. Maybe it’s the former math/science geek in me—now trapped in the body of a transvestite, or simply the fact that I’m a psychiatrist. Or maybe it’s just that I don’t like surprises down the pike. But I have to ask questions and learn as much as I can from what people say and especially what they do.

So what about that magic 5% of straight men who stay interested? Are they the same as the other guys? If the mood strikes, might any straight man consider a walk on the wild side? First of all, dear readers, don’t answer this question based on your own experience as men. Because, whether CD or TS, you are not and never were a pure straight man, you’re trans—and because of that you see and have always seen the world differently. To avoid this pitfall I surveyed three really good straight friends who had already shared all kinds of secrets with me. If any of them had been trans or trans-admiring they would have long ago let me know.

And, alas, all said they’d lose interest and have to bow out as best they could, if they learned they were getting involved with a transwoman. It seems that these three, at least, were just plain not oriented to us. “If I was already in love with her,” one, who happened to be a doctor, said, “then it would be a bitter pill to swallow, like learning she had herpes or diabetes, but we all have our issues.” Well, it seems like my doctor friend might be able to look the other way when it comes to love, and straight men, bereft of other options, seem capable of looking the other way when it comes to lust. Just consider how many of them find sexual satisfaction from other men in prison. I’m sure resorting to a trans woman would be far less of a stretch, especially if it’s getting near closing time, and sweet little Teresa is right there, ready and willing.

But nearly all the strangers who come out of the woodwork for a readable gal like me or the majority of the men who stay interested in a tell-them-right-up-front girl like Teresa seem to resemble the folks we’re more familiar with from our tranny clubs. For them we’re not some kind of icky in between, but the best of both worlds. Bless their hearts.

Regardless of where they’re found, these men are best thought of as a second and distinct type of the men who might like us, trans admirers, because they seek us out and fall in love with us because we’re trans, not in spite of it. If you’re ever in doubt about what kind of man you’re dealing with, ask yourself, “Did he hit the gas pedal or brakes when he learned I was a trans woman?” If a guy neither speeds up or slows down when you tell him you’re trans, that probably means that he is an admirer who already knew. Another useful question is “Does he steer toward or away from my transhood when we’re in bed?” because many but not all trans admirers crave the opportunity to give oral sex.

Who are these admirers anyway? Simply some small renegade percentage of otherwise regular straight men? Many insist that they are, and I’d like to think that’s true. They explain their attraction to us with “You’re like women but with a little something extra,” and “You’re all so much more appreciative and care about being feminine.”

That sounds pretty convincing except for the fact that I’ve been out on the tranny and chaser scene since 1994, and many men have offered me—and themselves—such explanations only to admit one on one that yes they’re aroused by lingerie or to come out years later as a crossdresser or even transsexual. That’s why I’ve personally come to believe that Deep inside every chaser beats the heart of a tranny. Can’t many of you ladies remember such a phase? Many admirers may be passing through it now. And perhaps there, some are happy to stay.

Nonetheless, I can’t rule out the possibility that other admirers may be simply who they say are. So we might sum up the kinds of men who might like us into 1) straight men who can tolerate our being trans, 2a) admirers who perceive us as women with some sort of advantage 2b) admirers drawn to us because they are trans at heart. Regardless of which kind you are, thank you for being there.

#Transwoman, #Transgender #crossdresser drive your guy or Yourself Wild

Here’s how...
Drive Your Guy or yourself Wild With the Male G-Spot

A little back-door stimulation will make your man lose his mind with wave after wave of intense, toe-curling, mind-numbing pleasure. That’s what the male G-spot is all about.
Ladies, let me be honest with you. What you’re about to read is not for the faint of heart. It’s not for women who pride themselves on being demure in the boudoir. This act of sexual pleasure is meant for those who want to have your man screaming your name in pleasure.

I myself have reserved this particular trick for only those men I have deemed worthy. In other words, if he’s given me the most mind-blowing orgasm of my life, then I’ll return the favor. This is the way you do it.
The Male G-Spot?
The male G-spot is all about trust and intimacy. 

I’m sure the very first question on your mind is, “What is the male G-spot?” Good question.
The male G-spot is the sexual equivalent of the female G-spot. It’s in a hard-to-reach place, it’s often considered a myth and it’s loaded with stimuli.
It is not a myth, however. The male G-spot is very real indeed. Maybe you know it by its everyday name: the prostate gland.

I’m sure you’ve heard your man complain about having his prostate checked, but don’t let that deter you. Having a prostate exam is no more sexually stimulating than having a pap, ladies, but you still let him play down there, right? It’s the same concept.

The prostate is a very sensitive gland this is easily accessible in different ways. By stimulating this gland, you will help your man achieve a longer erection and a much stronger orgasm. The prostate has many more nerve endings in it than the head of his penis, which is why it’s so pleasurable for him when you stimulate it.
Where Do I Find It? What Every Man Wants In Bed, But Would Never Tell You…

The prostate is located inside your man’s body under his bladder. It is most easily accessible through his butt.
I know he’ll hesitate. That’s an uncomfortable area for a lot of guys to think of sexually. It’s an uncomfortable area for many women to consider in a sexual manner as well!
But you shouldn’t let its location cause you hesitation. The male G-spot is one of the most erotically tantalizing places on your man’s body.

#Transgender, #transwoman #Crossdressers: Trans Women who Date

Arisce Wanzer: "We crave the same acceptance and love that most take for granted"    

The struggle is REAL for trans women who date
Love is a battlefield that far too many know too well – and trans people, especially transgender women of color (TWOCs), are often those most affected in that arena. Too long we've been the "butt" of the joke, the social pariah, the public whipping boy used as a negative example of human behavior. On television, we're either the confused crossdresser or the melodramatic street hooker. We're never assigned another layer – one that's relatable to the average person.

The stigma around us goes far beyond the ridicule and name calling, but affects our intimate relationships on a level many will never know. Society has made trans people a public enemy for many years, mislabeling us and judging the way we live and see ourselves. This can make it extremely difficult to find public acceptance let alone a private love.

"I want to be with a man who is proud of who we are and what we have! NOT a man who worries about how we're going to be labeled," says Victory 'Vi' Lee, the star of the groundbreaking documentary What's the T?. "At the end of the day, all that matters is what's between the two people sharing each other."

It's been said that love makes the world go round, but it's also known that the opposite of love is not hate, but fear. When people fear the change that is the movement of the trans community, it completely blocks our chances at finding the love that every being is entitled to. Or, as trans entertainer Melanie Ampon puts it: "Men either treat us as sex objects or dirty little secrets. It's why I don't date much, I know I deserve real love, I know what I'm worth."

    “I can't imagine a cisgender girl getting these disclaimers from a man she loved, unless maybe they were having an affair together”

It's a tale almost all trans people, including myself, are very familiar with: people living in fear of their loved ones' disapproval because they're dating someone who is different. Brian, a cisgender straight male, pursued me a few years ago with all of the charm and passion one could only expect from a Latino television actor. He wined me, dined me, called everyday.  We had something special until things had to move forward. We'd been dating for seven months and he wanted to fly me out to Argentina to see his life, what it was like. I was all for it until I got his list of rules:

1. Don't leave the apartment without me, someone might see you
2. You're only meeting my gay and lesbian friends
3. We are only going to gay and lesbian places
4. Make sure you look really feminine, pack dresses, wear make-up
5. DO NOT wear heels, we can't have you looking too tall
6. Don't answer the house phone, my family can never know about you

I can't imagine a cisgender girl getting these disclaimers from a man she loved, unless maybe they were having an affair together. But we weren't having an affair – on the contrary, he was my real life boyfriend. He was the man who professed his emotions to me in beautiful ways I'd never felt before; the one who cured my sadder days.

All of the good my guy had done just seemed like a haze, crop dusting over the truth of who he really was. How could he say those things to me after telling me he wanted to marry me one day? How could someone so close to their family even consider me for the long haul, if I never got to meet them? He'd always said he loved me just as I was, so why did I have to change myself for people he never even even wanted to see me? Why did he ever ask me out if he knew what the end result was all along? I knew the answers – I'd seen this movie already, I just hoped to god that Brian would be the exception.

For girls like us, the dates and relationships that regular couples experience can only be seen as a haunting daydream. Not because it's impossible, but because we don't have enough positive examples to prove that it is.

"We're all on this adventure, searching for gold. You know, quality stuff right?" says Mariah Hunt, a trans woman who works as a registered nurse. "You hope and dig, and mine and sift only to end up with lead more than ninety-nine percent of the time. Don't get me wrong, it's never boring, just always kind of disappointing when you get nothing."

We crave the same acceptance, love, longevity, good jobs, success and a sense of normalcy that most take for granted. We need those who love us to speak for us when we aren't around and to be proud of us when we are. We need the same love and support as any regular person. I hope I live to see the day where everyone is seen as a love entity, instead of a race, religion, sexuality, or gender. Until then, I wish all my trans sisters the best. Remember how far you've come and know that you are stronger than how you feel when you're alone. We all deserve the love that we need, so loving ourselves is not an option. I love you. A

#Transgender: #Transsexuals How to Pass as a #Woman

You crossdress, chances are you want to pass.
You desire to go out in public without someone looking at you and wondering, is that a man?
If you pass, it opens the door for a lot more activities, and a lot more fun! Shopping. Movies. Travel. You name it. Passing is a thrill that every cross dresser should experience!
So how do you pass?
Master these six basic Crossdresser essentials.

Hair is incredibly important. Just look at all the glamour magazines. Look at the models and actresses, then look at Sports Illustrated, and look at the men. Women's hairstyles are gorgeous, wavy and long. Men's styles are short and, well, male. Just putting on a nice long wig will do wonders in transforming you from male to female.

What kind of wig should I buy? Choosing a wig depends on many variables, including the shape of your face. The best thing to do is try on several styles and see what looks best on you. I find that wigs with bangs look better on me, and make me feel more feminine. Make sure that the color of the wig works well with your skin tone. If your skin is dark, you probably aren't going to look very believable in a blonde wig. But, if you are pale skinned, a blonde wig would probably look very nice. Buying a wig with highlights, or frosted tips, can also be nice, since that is in fashion. Another advantage to a long wig is that it helps to hide your neck, and maybe more importantly, your adam's apple.

One curse of being a male - you may have hair everywhere you don't want it. Be aware of any place you are showing skin. If you see hair, chances are, someone else will too. So girls, it's time to pluck, wax or shave that body hair.

Without makeup, most men can't look anything like a woman. With makeup, it is surprising how stunning some crossdressers can look. So how do you learn these CD makeup tricks?

Read, Watch and Learn!

The internet is a wonderful tool for learning how to apply makeup. YouTube has many great videos. Just sit back and soak in the knowledge. You see women with beautiful makeup jobs. These women weren't born with this knowledge; they had to learn it. And so do you.

Tranny Closet Recommendation:

Go to a makeup store or makeup counter in a department store. Ask them what color foundation you should wear. Ask them if they can give you "smoky eyes." They will be glad to talk with you, and will apply make-up right there. Make sure you position yourself in front of a mirror so you can watch the process. Ask lots of questions. I have never had a negative experience at a makeup counter. The salespeople (men and women) have always been extremely helpful and friendly.

The two basic makeup applications you need to learn are day, and night. Day needs to subtle and natural, Evening makeup is more dramatic, with more emphasis on the eyes. I'm not going to get into the "how to" with makeup, As YouTube and your local cosmetics stores will be the best resources for you to learn by.

Finally - make your nails feminine. I include fingernails under makeup because "makeup" is the altering of your physical body using colors. If you haven't already noticed, nail salons are everywhere! For a relatively small amount of money you can get beautiful, long nails. Be aware though, these nails don't come off easily. So plan another trip to the salon to have them professionally removed. You can do your own nails and save money, but I would recommend going to a salon. And remember your feet and toenails! A pedicure is also a must.


You're dressed to kill. Your makeup is flawless. Your hair is gorgeous. You have heavenly curves. You walk up, oozing with femininity, to the nightclub bar. The bartender asks you want you would like to drink - and out comes this horrible, unnatural, comical female voice. You have just been "made."

Voice and Mannerisms can be the two most difficult things to master. And with a femme voice, practice makes perfect. Don't expect to have it in a couple of days, or weeks. It could take months to years to get this down. There are videos for sale, but I would recommend watching some free YouTube movies first. Practice everyday for 15 to 20 minutes. Be sure to drink lots of water so you don't damage your voice. It's a lot of work, but when you get that voice, you'll be totally excited. Then you can march back up to bartender and ask for a drink.


Whether it's a dress and high heels, or jeans, a sexy top and sandals, a cross dresser needs femme attire. It's like a present with wrapping paper and bow. So, how do you pick out the right clothes? Well, to pass you need to look at your age, your body type and where you are going. If you are 6' 2", 225 lbs and you are going to the grocery store, I wouldn't recommend high heels and a mini skirt. You have to be realistic. That's not to say that you can't wear heels and a mini, just not to the grocery store. That outfit would be appropriate for a transgendered bar.

Most guys have broader shoulders and larger arms, so if this defines you, then I would aim to cover up these areas. Try 3/4 or full length shirts. Flared sleeves also work well to hide those "man" arms.

Try to pick out your best "feminine" feature. Whether it's your face, legs, feet or butt, if it's nice, show it off!


Feminine Curves are mandatory for cross dressing! Well, actually it's not mandatory, but if you want to pass as a woman, it sure helps. The curves we are talking about are breasts and hips. The most important curve is the breasts. So, lets concentrate on that. Most cross dressers start at a young age, and probably the most used item stuffed into bras is the sock. Well, the sock doesn't cut it anymore, especially with the great breast forms on the market. Tranny Closet sells some of the most realistic breast forms you can find. These forms feel like the real thing and move like the real thing, and this is exciting news for any crossdresser.

What size should I buy? This depends on your weight and height. If you are skinny and average to below average in height, you would probably look best in a smaller breast form (small to large, filling cup sizes A to C), but if you are tall and maybe a little heavier, you should consider larger forms (XL to 4X). For those who are financially secure, I would recommend buying two different size forms. For example, if you are 5' 10" and 150 lbs, get a size large and a size 2X. You may find that sometimes you want to be a little more busty and strut your stuff for all to see, and the larger forms will do the trick.

Although we don't currently sell them, butt pads can add a nice touch to your feminine Body as well.


Mannerisms - how you walk, how you sit, how you talk (not your voice, but the tilt of your head, your hand gestures) - are crucial to master if you want to pass as a believable woman. Watch how women walk, talk, sit, and you'll see that guys and girls are different. I feel that dressing up is like being an actress. I want to fool everybody with an Oscar-worthy performance.

Women walk with their shoulders back, and their chests out. Men tend to slouch. Men walk with their hands in their pockets. Women do not.

The best way to learn is to watch and study, and practice, practice, practice! In front of a mirror is best.

#Transwoman: Maintaining Your #Transgender #Feminine #Mystique

That’s a big part of your feminine image!

Body language consists of four things:

  1.     Posture
  2.     Gestures
  3.     Eye contact
  4.     Facial expressions

Unfortunately, it’s easy to develop bad body language habits that can ruin your feminine image… or at the very least, make you look less poised and polished than you want to be.

Here are actions that should be avoided when presenting yourself as a woman:

  •     Slouching
  •     Biting your nails
  •     Compulsively checking your phone
  •     Rummaging through your purse
  •     Crossing your arms
  •     Fidgeting
  •     Shaking your leg or tapping your fingers
  •     Not smiling
  •     Scanning the room when you talk to people
  •     Talking too much with your hands
  •     Exaggerated nodding
  •     Examining your teeth or complexion in public
  •     Applying makeup in public (other than a quick swipe of lipstick)
  •     Resting your chin on your hands and elbows
  •     Sitting with your legs apart
  •     Clanging your silverware
  •     Avoiding eye contact
  •     Eye contact that is too intense
  •     Weak handshake
  •     Clenching your fists
  •     Standing too close to people
  •     Chewing loudly
  •     Talking while you eat
  •     Eating or drinking too fast
  •     Bending towards your food instead of bringing the food to your mouth
  •     Leaning forward too much
  • Leaning back too much

Are you making any of these mistakes? If so, don’t feel bad. (I myself am guilty of checking my phone too often!) Instead, resolve to improve them.
Angel Sexual wellness and longevity

For fun, do a “body language study” the next time you’re out in public. Notice the subtle actions that enhance or detract from people’s images.

Can you think of any other habits that should be added to this list?

As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts! Please share in the comments below.


Angel Bea

#Transsexual: #Crossdressing and #Passing As #Woman

1. Dress your age. If you aren’t a junior, don’t buy your clothing in the juniors department

2.  Dress appropriately for the situation. A cocktail dress at the mall isn’t optimum. Make up needs to be appropriate.

3.  Crossdressing is an illusion. A genetic woman can go out without any make up and can look a mess but not look like a man. You can do the same as a man and not look like a woman. You need to constantly preserve the illusion and this involves diverting attention away from your flaws and using clothing and most importantly accessories to preserve the illusion. I do not need glasses but found they feminize me so I bought some (in the women’s section of an eyeglass store). wearing men’s glasses simply is not good enough in 99% of the people I know. I wear a hair band, diamond engagement ring, chain bracelet, necklace, earrings that dangle, and red lipstick because many people have critiqued me and said these things feminize me. The red lipstick and nail polish divert the eyes away from other parts of me.

4.  Choose a wig wisely, This may be among the most important things you do. Length, color, style all matter. (If it is too perfect, it will look fake.)

5.  Hair removal is always an issue.  You think nothing of spending a great deal of money on clothing and cosmetics so spend some on a quality razor.  Consider hair removal on your face if necessary. I had laser hair removal and it was the best thing I ever did. Use the right foundation to cover the beard but shave it off first! covering is not as good as removing. Shave closely and several times.

6.  Apply make up skillfully.

7.  Cover your arms if you need to. My arms are larger than a woman’s so I wear some type of top. This means I never get to wear sexy cocktail gowns and expect to pass but I can usually find something nice with sleeves. Cover your Navy tatoo!

8.  Keep your skirt length appropriate.  In fact, keep everything appropriate. Anything that looks out of the ordinary will be noticed and once you are noticed you will not pass.  Much of the time if others really noticed me i would not pass yet somehow I pass extremely well. Why?  Because I blend in and fly under their radar.

9.  Avoid direct confrontation with anyone and when it i necessary to interface with a waiter, store clerk, etc. be prepared.  When i go to the grocery store i know they will inevitably ask me paper or plastic so I am ready and reach for a plastic bag.  I know I will be asked cash or credit so I have my cash or credit card in my  hand where they can see it before they ask. But if I have to speak, I speak softly and quietly and smile.In a restaurant, point to the menu item as you order. This reduces the need to fully speak in detail.

10.  Choose where you go in public carefully to minimize problems. If you don’t really pass, stay out of the ladies’ room. I go out at any time of the day or night in Times Square and pass but I avoid groups of teenagers like the plague. They will notice and if they notice they will not notice quietly.

11.  Walk like a woman not a caveman.

12.  Relax. If you are afraid, you will walk like you are afraid. Have confidence.

13.  Carry a mirror and use it. Men don’t need much attention but women need constant attention. Walking from the parking lot to the Mall can result in blown hair. Eating can alter make up. Be prepared

14.  Smell like a woman.

15.  Be self aware. Know your limitations. Unless you have practiced dancing like a girl you probably won’t do it like a girl.

#Transssexual: Silly #Tranny

Get Rid of That 5 O'Clock Shadow

Trans women and some cis men seem to have at least one thing in common... The pesky 5 o'clock shadow. I have put together some tips below that I have learned to give you all some advice on different ways you can get rid of or at least minimize it. While this is written fro trans women the advice will work for anyone needing a close clean shave :)
As for facial hair, I personally find nothing more frustrating, and in many cases nothing that will get us read more, than this. Fortunately I have a few great tips for getting rid of it!

Get a Close Shave

This may sound like a no brainier but really, do everything you can to get a very close shave. No attempt to hide your shadow will work if you have stubble sticking up through your makeup!
Ok, so how do you get a close shave... Here are some tips and advice:

  1. Use a new razor. I like the Mach 3.
  2. Steam your face for a few minutes with a hot face cloth to soften the hairs.
  3. Use a good shaving cream (this is actually far more important that you think) and apply it with a shaving cream brush... This alone helps dramatically! And ladies, don't shy away from using men's shaving tools here. In fact, I guarantee that shadow is far more stubborn that your pride!
  4. Lastly, shave in angles, not straight down. This helps to cut the hairs instead of pulling them. The less irritation you have the closer you can shave.

Use Makeup to Camouflage Your 5 O'Clock Shadow, Not Just to Cover It Up

The problem with using makeup to cover your 5 o'clock shadow is that most people don't realize that the area where your shadow is takes on a blue / grey hue and is dramatically different in color then the rest of your face. Now, if you just take concealer or foundation that matches your normal skin tone and try to use it to cover this area you will almost always end up making the shadow area lighter then the surrounding skin and it ends up standing out even more then before you started! So if this doesn't work, what can you do?
Well, instead of caking on the makeup and praying no one notices, try to counteract the blue hue of the beard growth by adding a bit of red over top of it.

To do this dab a bit of red lipstick on the areas that are where you have a shadow: your upper lip, chin, cheeks and maybe even your neck. Now blend it in well! Note that this will not be perfect, especially for people who have had little to no permanent hair removal, but most people can get it pretty darn close! Lastly, make sure you avoid getting the red on the areas that do not have any hair growth.

Now once you even out the coloring of your skin you should be able to just apply a normal amount of foundation and be done. No caked on concealer!

I will warn that this does take a lot of practice to get right but once you get it down it works great! You will not regret taking the time to get it right, just remember that the key is to get a good balance between the blue undertones and the red makeup... To much red and you look like you have a sunburn, to little and it doesn't work.

Now I understand this sounds simpler then it is but I have to stress that it really does work and is worth the practice. The alternative method of caking on concealer in an attempt to cover the shadow never works... EVER!

On a last note here I would love to have someone share a technique for African American skin tones as this is very much geared towards lighter skin.

Permanent Hair Removal

Of course you could also opt for having the hair permanently removed. Note that this is painful, time consuming, and expensive (in the long run maybe more expensive than SRS). I have had a lot of laser hair removal and electrolysis and I am still not done. .

#Transwoman: Healthy #Transition #transsexual

Setting Realistic, Obtainable and Healthy Transition Goals 



As with any major life change the decision to transition has to be done with at least a few laid out goals in mind. It is hard to say "set a target and strive for it" because we all change. Our priorities change. What was 100% necessary at the outset of transition may seem trival a few years in... It is important to keep the things in mind. That doesn't mean we shouldn't have some goals in mind. Targets are great because they give us something to aim for. If that target changes or priorities change than so be it, but aimlessly trying to accomplish a complex undertaking is all the more difficult if we do not have some idea of what we want to accomplish.

While I wrote this from the male to female perceptive, I think the information is just as valid for female to male transsexuals as well. We all want a lot out of our transitions and we tend to want these things yesterday! This is why I think it is a good idea to sit back and really think for a moment. I would suggest you at least consider these few questions before even considering what you need to do first:

  • What are you trying to do?
  • What do you want? 
  • What do you need to do to get there?
  • What will you do after you get there?
Now the knee jerk answer to these questions is simple... What am I trying to do? Transition duh! But it isn't so simple. There are all kinds of parts to transition. There is physical changes that you may want (HRT, surgery) as well as emotional changes and social dynamics in play. Coming out can be just as difficult (if not more so) than the actual physical transformation.

Put Your Transition into Perceptive


 After you know what you want, the next thing I did was write it down everything I thought i needed to do to get there. You may need to do some research to find your options but this is an important step. One big thing this can help with is it can help you put everything into perceptive.

Transition is a monumental task that is both financially and emotionally expensive. It is best to know exactly what you need to do, when you want (and when you actually can) do it, and have a realistic plan to make it happen. Take everything you list and make a timeline.
When you write the timeline out realize your goals will take time (years) to achieve. For starters figure on the following:

  • 6 months of therapy before getting a letter to go to a doctor for hormones
  • A year or so living full time to be considered for surgery
  • Another 6 to 12 month wait once you are cleared to actually have the surgery
While this seems daunting and disheartening I think it is important to realize that you will need time to adjust to living your life in a very different way. Transitioning isn't as easy as changing your clothes. Everyone will treat you differently (and I don't mean in a discriminatory way). The reality is men and women in our society fill very different roles and it takes time (and you should take your time here) to get comfortable living in that role.

Take Your Time

Remember, this (the physical aspect of transitioning) is not a race. Please excuse the cliche, but the object here is not to go from being a woman / man stuck in the wrong body, to a woman / man stuck in a strange body that still doesn't make sense. This can be an terrible reality for some who go too fast. It can also be emotionally disastrous! The reality is moving to fast can cause even deeper despair and lead to deeper depression or worse. I've seen this happen!
I think we all agree that the purpose of transitioning is is to become happier with who you are on the inside as well as the outside. The only way to do this is to give yourself time to grow into the person you are becoming. Take your time and you will no only begin to see yourself as the person truly are but you will be much happier with your life overall.

Look at Things Realistically


Being realistic does not mean the same as accepting one's fate and giving up. Just know that things take time and transitioning is a process. Nothing happens over night. The effects of HRT take time, surgery take planning and money.
Realize also that many people have health or economic limits placed on them and simply will never be able to have surgery.

 Does this mean you can't be happy? Absolutely not!!!! I know trans women who cannot even take hormones let alone have surgery and they are living their lives just like the rest of us. We say over and over that we are not defined by what is between our legs and it is true. Post surgery I am not different on the inside than I was before. I had surgery because I felt it was right for me, not because I needed validation for who I was.
Lastly, realize that there is more to life than transition. We tend to get so caught up in transition and forget to live our lives. You will need to factor this into your transition plan as well.

I hope I have offered so good advice here. I am not perfect and I have had my fair share of bumps. Good luck and stay strong.