If so many admirers are tranny at heart, why don’t they just dress up and hit the town like we do? Why settle for soaking up someone else’s satisfaction? And why are admirers such a less impressive bunch than gay men and even regular straight men? Gosh, that’s an appalling thing to say about our guys—and thank god for the many exceptions—but anyone with any real heels-on-ground experience is aware of this unfortunate fact.
Why oh why, I’ve asked myself, until thinking back on the innumerable men I’ve met over the years at the tranny clubs and realizing that one simple explanation solves both of these puzzles. But like most of the mysteries of the TG world, we can see it only if we take off our blinders and rein in our sensitivities.
Each admirer is a bird unable to fly. Maybe he’s flown before? Maybe he’ll develop tail feathers of his own and shake them around in style in the future? But for now he’s limited by something. And that same thing that keeps him from being a terribly happening woman may be what keeps him from being an especially happening man.
That would explain why admirers tend to be a heavier and older bunch of men. It would make sense if they were also taller, though I haven’t seen that near as much as I’d like. Some may have their wings clipped by lack of a steady job, car, or apartment. Many are married and unable to get out except under the rarest of circumstances. Some may be constrained by psychological baggage, religious guilt, or macho ethnic tradition.
But the problem for a man-loving TG like me is that once one of these fellows shakes off his shackles and sheds some pounds he may not emerge as a hot, happening man on the scene; he may just show up next week in a dress. “Darn,” I’ve often complained, “the best men here tonight are women.”
Looking for Straight Men
So, with all that being said, maybe it’s better to leave your local tranny night behind and look for straight men at a nearby singles bar. That’s all well and good but unless you’re 5’ 6” and Filipino or a slender white girl with amazing FFS, you’re not going to fool anybody. And if you think the men you reel in are pure, straight men with no clue, then you’re only fooling yourself—pleasant as that may be.
But let’s assume you can reel in the swordfish like some of my tinier TS patients and friends, then what do you need to know moving forward? I’d advise dating for a while before ultimately revealing your secret. That way he can get to know and love all the great things about you before he learns about this not-so-great (to him) thing. Don’t wait too long, because you don’t want him to feel deceived and definitely tell him before making any long-term commitments. Also, whether pre-op or even post, be prepared for your new beau to struggle a bit with the notion of seeming gay to himself and to anyone else in the know. And he probably won’t be interested in hearing too much about TG life, so you’d best be happy living year after year as an ordinary woman.
Now if you reel in one of our admirers, on the other hand, you can be pretty sure that he’ll be accepting and interested in who you are and how you got there. But be forewarned, you represent a forbidden pleasure that might light all kinds of fires inside him. Because of that, he might be all over you like there’s no tomorrow one night—only to discover later that there never really was any tomorrow as far as he was concerned. And if there is a tomorrow, make sure it’s a date unless you want to be someone’s secret playmate. Enjoy each other’s company and have fun. Just make sure he doesn’t get too attached to your original equipment if you’re planning to go for new parts. And finally be aware that he want to blossom himself someday.
Yes, there are special concerns when it comes to either kind of man we might attract. But romance is never risk free and forewarned is forearmed. May you all profit from my experience and find your way to the kind of love or lust you long for.
Life’s rich, complex, and full of possibilities. Be careful and enjoy!