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BDSM: Erotic Spanking the Ass. bondage spanking

It will probably also help if you’ve taken some time to think about some of the things that might or not be ok for you, such as: 
 Redness or bruising. Some people may enjoy seeing some marks after a session. Other people may want no redness or marks at all. As part of that, how easily do you bruise?
  • Do you want to try toys or stick with hands?
  • How will you tell your partner when it’s getting close to too much? (A scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being “I need to stop” is a great way to convey that.)
  • Do you have physical limitations that might affect things? For example, if you’ve got carpal tunnel syndrome, you might need to keep pressure off your wrists instead of being on your hands and knees.
  • Do you want to weave fantasy into your spanking? If so, what words, positions, or other sexual activities will make it work for you?
  • Since our limits may change when we’re turned on, how can you check in with each other without breaking the mood?
  • Do you prefer a thud or a sting sensation? Checkout the Types of Sensation section below to learn more about thud and sting.
  • Use safewords. Safewords are code words for things like “I need to take a break” or “too much.” They can be easier to use during the heat of passion and they give room for playing with fantasies where no doesn’t necessarily mean no. Some popular ones are “red” (to stop) and “yellow” (to slow down).

Types of Sensation:
All spanking props whether they are a bare hand or paddle will provide sensation along a spectrum of sting to thud. Sting is felt more on the surface of the skin while thud is a deeper, more penetrating sensation. Some people have strong preferences for one or the other, some like both and some like one as part of a warm-up and the other later on.

If you’re not sure what you or your partner likes, start slow and ask. One great way to do that is to spank once and ask them to rate it on a scale of one to ten. Another way is to do two different strokes and ask which one felt better. And remember that what we like changes when we’re turned on and warmed up, so feel free to mix it up a bit.
Here are some more tips on different sensations:
  • Thud
    A palm of the hand or thick heavy paddle can provide deep, resonating, penetrative yet dull, deep tissue stimulation. In general, it is harder to leave long-lasting marks with thud props, although when you do, the bruises may last longer since they’re deeper.

  • Sting
    A light wooden paddle, wooden spoon, and a hairbrush can provide more shallow stimulation, a sharp biting. To experiment with sting.

  • Different hand shapes
    When spanking with a bare or leather-gloved hand, cupping the hand tends to create more thud while holding it flat with fingers spread creates more sting. Some people find that having the hand or paddle bounce back off the rump after a strike to be more pleasurable for both parties, rather than striking with solely a forward motion. Others like a “spank-and-grab” sensation.



  • Rhythm
    Find a nice, steady rhythm. Some people like to time it to the music they’ve got playing. Just change it up every so often to keep arousal up.

  • Change the Sensation
    Work some light stroking, scratching, and rubbing into your spanking. Try incorporating the bristle side of a hairbrush after a few strokes of the opposing side. Some paddles will have a soft faux fur on one side and leather on the other. Play around with different stroking patterns and props until you and your lover find some favorites.

  • Be Aware of Your Partner
    The spankee can give cues that particular stroke pattern or strength is enjoyable by wiggling or squirming in your lap, or letting out a squeal. They can also let the spanker know something was not so enjoyable by saying things like: “no not there”, “too hard” or “that didn’t feel good.” Discuss, prior to your spanking session, what cues or safe words will be used and what they mean. 



  • Afterwards
    You may want to shift from spanking towards other sexual activity. After all, now that you’re both turned on, there are so many other things to do! But afterwards, it’s often a good idea to check in with each other. What worked? What didn’t? What would you like to change? You can have those conversations right afterwards or maybe a day or two later, but make sure to have them. It’s one of the best ways to make sure that the next time is fun.
    If the spankee is looking a bit bruised, some arnica gel (available at many pharmacies and natural food stores) works wonders. It also helps with muscle aches, so it might feel good on the spanker’s arm, too!