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#Transgender #Tgril #Transsexual Overcome Envy and Comparison

How to Overcome Envy and Comparison 

Do you ever compare yourself to cisgender women? Or girls who are further along on their feminine journeys?

Have you ever looked at somebody else’s life or looks and thought… why can’t I have that?

If so, you’re not alone.

It’s only human to feel jealous or envious from time to time.

But it sure doesn’t feel good! And it can keep you from reaching your own goals.

So how can you deal with these feelings?

Read on to discover 5 ways to overcome envy and comparison.

1. Realize that you don’t see the full picture

It’s easy to feel inadequate when looking at somebody’s flawless photos on Facebook. The Internet is the ultimate “envy amplifier,” but there are a couple things you should keep in mind:

Most people show an idealized version of themselves online. The photos you’re looking at might be Photoshopped or use flattering filters. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, just know they’re not a reflection of somebody’s 24/7 reality.
You have no idea what’s happening behind the scenes. Everybody has problems and struggles, and for all you know, they might be dealing with their own feelings of insecurity.
Remember that the next time you scroll through social media!

2. Be inspired

When we envy somebody, it’s a sign that they have something we want for ourselves. That in itself isn’t a bad thing.

Instead of letting somebody else’s good looks or success make you feel bad, let it inspire you to reach for the same.

Set a realistic goal and channel your energy towards achieving it. Taking positive action feels amazing, so this can be a great way to turn things around.

3. Get a life

This might sound harsh, but I say it with love.

If you find yourself spending a lot of time sitting around and comparing yourself to others, it’s easy to get caught in negative thought loops.

Quite simply, you need to spend less time in your head and more time out living your fabulous life!

If you’re busy having fun, making friends, and exploring new activities, there’s no time to obsess about others. Problem solved!

4. Surround yourself with positive people

Are you surrounded by people who constantly complain about how unfair life is? Or who are always trying to outdo each other like a bunch of teenage girls?

Those thought patterns are contagious, so the best thing you can do is find better people to be around: People who are happy, positive, and grateful.

I realize there are people you can’t cut out completely (like family), but look for positive outlets. Explore Meetup groups, support groups, or positive forums or Facebook groups.

5. Appreciate yourself

One of my favorite sayings goes:

Another woman’s beauty is not the absence of your own.

The best way to overcome envy is to shift the focus back to yourself and everything that makes YOU special, unique, and beautiful.

It’s not like there’s a limited supply of beauty or success out there, so keep reminding yourself of your own strengths and attributes.

Is this trite advice? Maybe. Does it work? ABSOLUTELY.

How do YOU deal with envy and comparison?

It’s normal to feel jealous or envious from time to time. But the sooner you get over it and put the focus back on your own life and goals, the better!

Because the truth is, girlfriend, YOU are amazing!

As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Have you ever struggled with comparison or envy? If so, how did you deal with it?

Please share in the comments below!

#Transgender: Tips for Surviving #Despair #tgirl #transwoman #transsexual

Tips for Surviving Despair

Guest Author: Anon

Know what I found to be the biggest challenge in overcoming despair? Blaming myself for getting into the bad situation plus not acting to get out of the mess. 

Overcoming Shame
If you’ve ever seen the movie “The Edge”: you might recall a profound statement by Anthony Hopkins regarding why most people die when lost in the wilderness: “They die of shame”. Based upon experience, I’m guessing such passing isn’t limited to the wild blue yonder.

As my life deteriorated: 
I froze. I couldn’t function. I was ashamed of people I hurt. I beat myself up over mistakes.

I almost died…
of shame.
Faith & Prayer

I can’t begin to explain the power of prayer & a basis in spirituality. I lost my connection with organized religion after being out-and-proud as transgender…but I never lost my faith in prayers to God. I owe my mother for this healthy habit: she was a devout believer in prayer.
Manage What You Can

The trick to surviving complete chaos is to not look very far into the future & manage what you can 
now. At times, I my entire “future plans” included only the next two hours. If I looked beyond that juncture? I felt overwhelmed & depressed.Forgive Yourself

I wasn’t yet able to love myself - I’ll always struggle with feeling deserved of love. I did, however, learn to forgive myself for getting in such a bad situation. I certainly didn’t “try” to end up a mess. I promised myself I would make better decisions if I found my way clear of this labyrinth. I openly & vocally apologized to myself…and asked myself to forgive “me’. Alas, it worked. 

What gifts did I receive from surviving complete financial devastation? 
Perhaps the greatest gift from my devastation was an improved sense of self. It’s only after you lose everything that you discover what you “really” have…you have yourself!

Other important lessons, included:

  • I discovered I didn’t require a single penny to my name to be truly happy.
  • I also never feel compelled to “act out” as if I’m someone important or wealthy. Know that type of behavior? Nowadays, it never bothers me to proclaim “I can’t afford it” even when by other people’s standards - I could. I’m much more humble about what challenges I can face with life & admire humility in others.

Thank-you Anon.